Hey, I got myself a couple of free babysitters!

Deshpande kaka dropped in a few days ago at our home. Deshpande kaka and kaku are a retired couple in their early to mid-sixties. They have two grown up children who are married with two children each, now settled abroad.

The Deshpandes are an active, friendly couple who like to participate in community activities and are good friends with most retired folks at their place of residence. Deshpande kaka is a person with an average build, quite fit-looking with a full head of black and grey hair. Kaku is a very typical Maharashtrian woman, soft spoken and pleasant. They had just returned from a trip abroad after spending more than 6 months there. The conversation inevitably veered around to their experiences in the foreign country. No big prizes for guessing what they were doing in there for 6 months - most people would have guessed correctly that they were playing free baby-sitters disguised as grand-parents.

My wife and I lived in the US from 1993 to 2000. During our stay and afterwards, we became acutely aware of this phenomenon of young Indian couples living abroad using their parents as cheap baby-sitters for their pre-school children. The stated reasons are many - from a crass "baby sitters are too expensive" to a very mature sounding "it is great for the children as well as the grand-parents", they all have some truth in it. However, the root cause in most cases remains the same - an inability and unwillingness to embrace the lifestyle in their country of residence, and a complete and utter disregard for the freedom and convenience of retired parents. I have another term for this behaviour - utter selfishness.

A typical Westerner would look for a good playschool, creche, or babysitter to deal with their own inability to be with the preschooler 24 hours a day. However Indian couples abroad are usually not confortable with these options. They'd rather have their parents play baby sitters because that is more "consistent" with our culture. How convenient!

Obviously, the Deshpandes are not complaining - they are quite proud of what they are doing and never criticize their children. This is typical of all baby-sitting couples in their position. I have met at least 50+ such couples, and have heard about others - seldom have I heard them complain. However you can pick up on little things they say which tell you that they are quite miserable doing this, whatever they may say.

So here is a message to young Indian couples living abroad - grow up, loosen your wallets and show some respect to your old parents who dedicated their lives to bringing you up. At the very least, before you make a decision to have children, ask your parents if they would be willing to spend miserable months abroad to raise them for you, while you live the good life, and build that fat bank balance.

Loosen Up Sachin!

Last Sunday I watched Sachin Tendulkar play a masterful innings to lead India to victory over Australia in the first final of the CB tri-series at the SCG. It was a precisely crafted innings, bringing into play all his experience and shot making skills. While his first few years in the one day format were defined by the thundering lofted drives over the straight field, the last few years have been characterized by his innovations in boundary hitting in the reverse "V". The paddle "swat" to fine leg has been on view for some time now, but in this game the deft lobs over the slips were the most exhilirating shots. When a man was placed at fine third man, he swatted the ball over square third man with a lofted swat. The innings was the work of a master craftsman.

In spite of the wonderful innings, and the fantastic result it produced for India, I walked away from the post game show with an uncomfortable feeling. Sachin is one of the all time greats of the game, and he is without doubt a wonderful person who cares deeply about his team and country. However he is not perfect, and his comments about his critics after the game left me with a hollow feeling.

Sanjay Manjarekar is probably the most cerebral Indian cricket commentator on TV. The channels currently covering Indian cricket games do not seem to favour him, so we have not seen much of him lately on TV. Sanjay's commentary is insightful, direct, and very interesting for the purists among the cricket fans. He does not have the polish of a Shastri, or the aura of a Gavaskar, or even the incredibly stupid wit of a Sidhu. He seldom practices the "art of the obvious" as most Indian commentators do. However, he makes up for it with insights into the game that no other Indian commentator can match.

Sanjay is also a good thinker of the game who is not afraid to speak his mind even about the icons of the game - which brings us to Tendulkar. A couple of days before the CB tri-series finals, Manjarekar wrote a newspaper column describing Sachin's record in run chases in ODI's and it did indeed look very ordinary. He also questioned Sachin's contribution in the current series in Australia, which was a fair criticism, given Sachin's performances before the finals.

Sachin's post-match comments were along the lines of "they criticize because they have not been able to do certain things themselves...". Hello??? Does he discount all the good things Harsha Bhogle says about him just because Harsha has not done all the great things himself? This is a ludicrous argument. Sanjay Manjarekar's comments are fully justified as a journalist - unlike some others, he frequently uses statistics to make his case.

Loosen up Sachin! Don't take it so personal! The journalists - even the ex-cricketers among them - are doing their jobs. You need to focus on yours. This type of outburst tends to diminish rather than enhance your reputation.

Harbhajan - The unsung hero in India's Commonwealth Bank series win

I took the day off from work and watched the Indian cricket team play a wonderful game to win the Commonwealth Bank tri-series in Australia. While I watched all the hoopla around Tendulkar, Dhoni and Praveen Kumar, I could not help getting goose bumps as I watched my hero Harbhajan Singh give a hug to all his teammates and continue his uninhibited celebration.

Sure, Harbhajan was not the team's best performer through the series in terms of his statistics. Other than getting his best friends - Haydos and Symmo - out in both the finals, he did not do much on the field to invite much adulation. Why then, you ask, is he my hero?

The Aussies have been the bullies of international cricket for close to two decades now. They mow down their opposition as much with their abuse and sledging as with their skills and desire to win. To win against Australia, being a skilled team is necessary but not sufficient. You have to be fearless and arrogant first. Even though a bully hates to lose, he will tolerate the occassional loss. However a bully will not tolerate being challenged and stood up to. Do not forget that the Australians not only want to win, they also want to be loved as ambassadors of the game! Their bullying is supposed to be within the laws of the game! Michael Slater and Glenn McGrath will no doubt tell Dravid and Sarwan respectively that their behaviour never crosses the line. They play tough but fair.

What a bloody joke! The moment Harbhajan stood up to these bullies, they started whining. Their transformation into cry-babies would have been funny had it not been so pitiful. Two 6 foot 4 hunks decided to run straight to the officials and the media when they couldn't deal with a fiesty sardar who would not wilt. The Aussie media, match referees, spectators and the Aussie team orchestrated a masterful campaign against Harbhajan that is paralleled only by what Doug Jardine had to go through as a result of the bodyline series.

Harbhajan is my hero because he stood up to all this, and did his job for the team without batting an eyelid. His dignity and sense of humour through the Aussie on and off field onslaught was simply outstanding. The team rallied around the fearless sardar because he stood up to the bullies and still delivered the knockout punches.

I don't care how many wickets and runs were accumulated in this series. For me the defining moment of the series was the young Ishant Sharma showing Symmo where to go after his dismissal at the SCG. Don't for a moment forget that the inspiration came from Bhajji standing up to the bullies! The 15% match fee was well spent after all!